A Series: The Reluctant Lonestar

**Awkwardly kicks rocks** Morning! I took my girls to dance this morning, and once it was over. My partner came over to pick them up. I sadly grabbed their things from the car. I helped tuck them into their carseats. I said goodbye to my babies. My partner then kissed me goodbye and asked me to lunch. Sigh. I then walked to my car, put the key into the ignition and began analyzing the entire scene:

“Lika, the kiss! The kiss was so different! It was passionate! It was loving! It was different.”

“Oh my God, girl! He wants to see you later… Shoot, what are you going to wear??”

“But what if he says he wants to have lunch and then doesn’t…”

So I felt a myriad of things – most of which were probably silly as hell. You must understand that I too often see myself from the outside looking in. I am well aware of the things I should feel, and the responses I need to make in reaction to said feelings. And yet… I, too often, am in direct opposition of it all…

So yes, hope was sparked deep inside of my soul (Stupid.) – fuck history and experience! Despite this hope, I began preparing myself for the absolute worst. The let down. The hurt feelings. You get it.

Immediately afterwards, I started playing this Apple created playlist, titled “Broadly”. Girl… The playlist starts off first with Flawless. I took a deep breath and *temporarily* closed my eyes… I was at church. Sigh. Also, it helped that I was wearing a pair of leggings that I felt absolutely bomb in.

 

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